1
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,751
To the late, great Thomas Sullivan Magnum.
2
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,688
- Stop yelling!
- l'm not yelling! l'm speaking loudly.
3
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,197
You're yelling.
4
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:35,565
Always did prefer your men
like your cologne, cheap and splashy.
5
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,763
- You're not a member here.
- My wife is.
6
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:40,034
You can put it on their accounts. Ta.
7
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,473
Marrying the boss's niece has advantages.
8
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,444
Anything you want or need,
you just give me a little buzz.
9
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:49,575
Uncle Harry, what is going on?
10
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,914
You and your new hubby are up the creek.
11
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:03,186
Dearly beloved, we have come together
in the presence of God
12
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:09,526
to witness and bless the joining of this man
and this woman in holy matrimony.
13
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:12,224
Would you join hands, please?
14
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,135
Will you have this man to be your husband,
15
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:22,869
to live together in the covenant of marriage?
16
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:29,576
Will you love him, comfort him, honor
and keep him, in sickness and in health
17
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:34,178
and, forsaking all others, be faithful
to him as long as you both shall live?
18
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,346
l will.
19
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,349
(Blowing nose)
20
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,927
And will you have
this woman to be your wife,
21
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:48,297
to live together in the covenant of marriage?
22
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:54,500
Will you love her, comfort her, honor
and keep her, in sickness and in health
23
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:59,501
and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her
as long as you both shall live?
24
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,877
- l will.
- (Blowing nose)
25
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,245
The ring, please.
26
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:15,151
Now that this man and this woman
have given themselves to each other,
27
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,291
by solemn vow, by the joining of hands
28
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:22,324
and by the giving and receiving of a ring,
29
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,804
l pronounce that they are husband and wife.
30
00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:28,406
You may kiss the bride.
31
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,243
(* Lounge music)
32
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,569
l'm telling you, T.C.,
he's sick, he needs help.
33
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:08,775
Needed help. ln case you didn't notice,
the boy done said l do.
34
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,613
l tried talking to him like a buddy.
Would he listen?
35
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,643
He wouldn't listen to anybody.
l called him 30 times.
36
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,917
Never returned one of my calls. Not one.
37
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:22,986
Uh-huh. To the late, great Thomas
Sullivan Magnum. May he rest in peace.
38
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,827
My God, Rick, how can you drink that swill?
39
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:29,323
Malaria-infested Burmese swamp water
was more palatable.
40
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,600
- Gee, Higgins, l kind of like it.
- That doesn't surprise me.
41
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:36,473
Nothing about this soiree surprises me.
42
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:41,276
Everything is so flawlessly vulgar.
Macaroni salad and plastic flowers.
43
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:45,478
But then one can hardly expect
anything else from Harry MacKenzie.
44
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,180
Hey, lighten up, this guy is worth millions.
45
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:52,317
Clearly a blessed confirmation
that breeding and class cannot be bought.
46
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,519
Thank the heavens.
47
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,222
You know something, Higgins?
You're a snob.
48
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,823
l prefer to think of myself as civilized.
49
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,801
This is a class act, first class here.
50
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:10,472
Plastic champagne glasses, l rest my case
and feel more confident than ever
51
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,638
that Magnum will feel right at home
with his new in-laws.
52
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,906
(Woman) Wonderful.
53
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,911
(Giggles)
54
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:29,260
Tom...
55
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,286
Marsha.
56
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,129
Oh, Tom, Tom.
57
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,759
Marsha.
58
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:39,294
Uncle Harry, everything is perfect.
Daddy would be so proud.
59
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,867
Honey, l promised my brother his little girl
would have the very best of everything.
60
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,437
Ever since her daddy died,
she's been like my own little girl.
61
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,778
l'd like to dance with her if you don't mind.
62
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,944
- Sure, Mr. MacKenzie.
- Tom, please, call me Uncle Harry.
63
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:54,816
OK, Uncle Harry.
64
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,152
- Sure you don't mind?
- No, it's just...
65
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,181
- Ready?
- Yes.
66
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,216
(* Lounge music)
67
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,197
(Splat, camera shutter whirs)
68
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,965
lt would appear you've made
my sister very happy.
69
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:20,376
Well, l hope so. She's made me very happy.
70
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:24,315
That's nice.
Marrying the boss's niece has advantages.
71
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,047
- Oh, Andy...
- No, no, no. Andrew.
72
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,078
Not Andy, Andrew.
73
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:34,219
Look, Andrew,
l did not marry the boss's niece.
74
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,091
l don't even work for your uncle.
75
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,462
You will. You know my father died
building this company?
76
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,491
MacKenzie Enterprises is a family business.
77
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,062
- Always has been, always will be.
- l know.
78
00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:50,565
- So you think that you can just come in...
- My boys, scheming already?
79
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,272
Trying to figure out how to throw
Uncle Harry out?
80
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:55,837
l wouldn't count on it
for the next half-century.
81
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,510
Don't count your chickens.
Nothing's for ever.
82
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:01,179
- Hello, Grandmother.
- And don't pout.
83
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,688
Your brother used to pout and it killed him.
84
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:06,817
Heart stopped, just like that.
Bad for the ticker.
85
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:11,861
Stand up, boy, you're slouching.
Bad for the liver.
86
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,696
Come on, they're playing our song.
87
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,866
- Bye.
- Nice boy.
88
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,296
lt's good to have a new face in the family.
89
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:28,213
- Otto, they're here.
- Ja, ja, Greta. l am hurrying.
90
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,647
(Laughing)
91
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,413
Greta, Otto, what are you doing here?
92
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,019
Your grandmother sent us
to make perfect your love nest.
93
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,125
Greta and Otto work for
Grandmother MacKenzie.
94
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:49,657
Otto, big Dummkopf,
said you would be coming at six.
95
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,533
Six is what l was told.
96
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,869
No matter. No matter.
97
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,703
So very beautiful.
98
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,542
And such a handsome husband.
99
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,349
Me, l have Dummkopf. Take the bags inside.
100
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:08,410
- Oh, thank you.
- Schnell, schnell.
101
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,319
Oh, l'll get the door.
102
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:12,347
(Otto) Thank you very much.
103
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:19,054
- This is Uncle Harry's wedding gift?
- Yes, good old Uncle Harry.
104
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,228
- Aren't you forgetting something?
- Uh?
105
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,260
- The threshold.
- Ah.
106
00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:40,445
- Oh, isn't this lovely?
- Champagne.
107
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,579
Oh, how nice.
108
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,186
(Otto) Ja. Gut.
109
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:51,060
The bags are in the bedroom,
the first room on the left.
110
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:55,363
Dinner is cooking,
champagne is cooling and...
111
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,801
We are going.
112
00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,032
- Bye.
- Thanks.
113
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,568
(Magnum) Bye-bye.
114
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,870
l thought they would never leave.
115
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,741
The threshold, don't you think
that was a bit much?
116
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,913
- lsn't that how it's done?
- Sure. ln 1947.
117
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,447
- (Material rips)
- Oh!
118
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,824
Watch out! Oh, you big klutz!
119
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,056
l didn't do anything. l was standing here.
120
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,894
Do you have any idea
how much this dress cost?
121
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,959
Hey, it was an accident. l'm sorry.
122
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:33,130
l should have known, big body, little brain.
123
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:37,336
- This is not gonna be easy.
- Brilliant deduction.
124
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:42,075
Look, don't you think that we could try
to be a little understanding,
125
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,344
otherwise we'll be at each other's throat?
126
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,511
- Don't you threaten me.
- That is not a threat.
127
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:51,045
- Stop yelling!
- l'm not yelling! l'm speaking loudly!
128
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:55,083
- You're yelling!
- Hey, will you two knock it off?
129
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,595
This is a nice neighborhood.
130
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,963
You two are beginning to sound
like you actually are married.
131
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,991
l'd rather be dead.
132
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:18,273
Primo stuff, 22 bucks a case.
133
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,951
lt smells like a poker game in here.
134
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:26,720
- Harry, you're getting ash all over the floor.
- Relax, it's a rental.
135
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:30,092
l have to live here.
l'd prefer it didn't look like a frat house.
136
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,620
Look, you and l decided
on this plan together.
137
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:36,897
You decided, and for some reason,
which still escapes me, l accepted.
138
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,767
For the company, honey.
139
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:43,264
l married that bozo Bruce for love.
This isn't going to work any better than that.
140
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,403
Au contraire.
Andy went for it, hook, line and sinker.
141
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:51,146
And now, in the spirit of nepotism
that made this country great,
142
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:54,914
l'm gonna make my new nephew-in-law
a vice president of the company,
143
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,787
in charge of...plant operations.
144
00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:02,391
He can look into every nook and cranny
and nobody'll get suspicious.
145
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:07,661
Right. lf Andrew buys this...situation,
then it's a good cover.
146
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,466
When do you think he'll make a move?
147
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,266
lf l knew that, l wouldn't need you.
148
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,875
Once l discovered the losses,
l analyzed our records for nearly a year.
149
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,436
There's been a loss every month,
except this one.
150
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,143
l've got almost $8 million worth of computers
in that warehouse
151
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,947
and Andy's gonna go for it
152
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:31,514
and when he does, l'm gonna catch
that snake with his hand in the cookie jar.
153
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,149
lf he does it.
154
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:38,492
You start tomorrow. Snoop around
the company. Use your private eye contacts.
155
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,499
- Private investigator.
- Who cares?
156
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:44,765
Just find out where he's gonna fence that stuff
and, more importantly, when.
157
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,795
Now, listen, you two. Andy is no dummy.
158
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:51,538
He'll keep his eyes on you, so l want you
to be happily married 24 hours a day.
159
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,511
That shouldn't be too hard.
160
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,474
- Speak for yourself.
- Marsha, put a lid on it.
161
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:04,851
l'm beat. Which bedroom do you want?
162
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,415
There's only one bedroom, mine.
163
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,928
Wait. Where am l supposed to sleep?
164
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,624
Anywhere you like
except the bedroom or bathroom.
165
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:17,364
Hey, look, maybe we both ought to decide
who's going to sleep where,
166
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,997
draw up a schedule, take turns.
167
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:23,531
Sort of domestic democracy,
that's fair, right?
168
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,342
(Snoring)
169
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,885
(Bell ringing)
170
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,960
(Groans)
171
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,119
Good morning.
172
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,857
You need a shave.
173
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,400
l also need a sink.
174
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:24,595
l think l saw one in the kitchen.
175
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,812
Agh! Oh!
176
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,158
(Marsha) Fascinating.
177
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,193
ls it a masculine morning ritual?
178
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:59,637
lt's called shaving in the sink
with a toaster for a mirror. You oughta try it.
179
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,537
What on earth for?
180
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,602
Look, you've cut yourself, clumsy.
181
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:10,510
- l'm lucky l didn't slit my throat.
- We're due at the club at nine for breakfast.
182
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,882
The office at ten. Dress.
l want to leave in 15 minutes.
183
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,784
Don't you ever say please?
184
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,366
Would you hurry up?
185
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,996
Could be worse.
We could really be married.
186
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,199
We're not.
187
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:39,337
You know, l sort of got the idea
that you've got a thing about marriage.
188
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:43,041
The only problem l have with marriage
is the man who comes with the deal.
189
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,344
Oh.
190
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,251
l grew up in a family full of men.
191
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:51,145
l washed them,
l fed them and l dressed them.
192
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,853
l escaped by marrying a man
who was supposedly full grown.
193
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,259
Bruce the bozo.
194
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:59,662
l ended up washing,
feeding and dressing him too.
195
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,632
Let me do that.
196
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:06,563
Now l work almost entirely with men.
197
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,369
Most of them act like they're about four.
198
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:13,811
lf l'm not careful, they'll have me
taking care of them too.
199
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:17,009
So l decided there's only one person
l'm going to take care of.
200
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,210
- Let me guess, you.
- Me.
201
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:25,721
Now, amazing what a shower
and a shave will do for a man.
202
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,522
A cold shower. We ran out of hot water.
203
00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:31,826
We are late, Mr. Magnum.
204
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:35,061
Come on. As long as
we're pretending to be married,
205
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,933
don't you think we ought to
be on a first-name basis?
206
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:42,066
Maybe we can call each other
sweetheart or honey once in a while.
207
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,200
(Fizzing)
208
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,071
(Blender whirring)
209
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,217
(Whistles) Rico, whoa.
210
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,810
Rico!
211
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:58,345
Cool it with the buzz saw, will you?
No more blended drinks.
212
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:04,221
There's something immoral
about gin fizzes at nine in the morning.
213
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:08,927
- This is an outrage.
- No, Higgins. lf you were inside my head...
214
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,301
What an extraordinarily depressing thought.
215
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,636
- What's the problem?
- Problems, plural.
216
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:18,575
First there's a car parked
in my space, a Jaguar, gold.
217
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:24,948
And the Ornithological Society's monthly
breakfast is scheduled for this morning...
218
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,975
in the rainbow room.
219
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,817
Another group
has forced its way into the room.
220
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:36,794
Stop bobbing your head like a car ornament
and tell me who's responsible for this.
221
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,321
Hi, Rick. Hi, Higgins. Could you send someone
to the rainbow room?
222
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:43,233
- We're ready to order.
- Order, in the rainbow room?
223
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,431
What the hell do you think you're doing?
You're not a member.
224
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,770
That's right, but my wife is.
225
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:53,904
So's my uncle-in-law, my brother-in-law
and my grandmother-in-law.
226
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:58,576
So, until l'm a full-fledged member,
you can put it on their accounts. Ta.
227
00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,275
(Belches)
228
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:07,955
- l don't believe it.
- Sit down and button your trap, Andrew.
229
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:11,292
l will not, Grandmother.
Somebody has to put his foot down.
230
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,093
His foot?
231
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,430
That is just a figure of speech, Marsha.
232
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,265
Don't start playing sexual politics, OK?
233
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:21,966
Andrew, l forbid you to use that word
in the presence of ladies.
234
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,372
Or a gentleman.
235
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:29,211
Gentleman? Oh, oh, oh. l have done
some checking up on this gentleman.
236
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:33,207
- Andrew, he is my husband.
- That's hardly a stellar recommendation.
237
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:36,813
That's just like you, Andrew.
You always were a little sneak.
238
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:41,224
- Now, now, Andy's got a perfect right...
- lt's Andrew, Uncle Harry.
239
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:44,593
- And don't patronize me.
- Shut up, boys.
240
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,793
- The men in this family are such whiners.
- Mother...
241
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,131
New blood's the answer.
242
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:53,900
- Fresh genes.
- Andrew, you are being petty.
243
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:57,431
l'm being responsible
to this business and this family.
244
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:01,845
Mr. Magnum doesn't seem to know anything
about business or responsibility.
245
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:06,579
l'm sure he's a fast learner.
Aren't you a fast learner, Timothy?
246
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:10,486
- lt's Thomas, Grandmother.
- Thomas? Thomas who?
247
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,820
Thomas Magnum,
248
00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:16,350
whose naval career was destroyed
when he resigned his commission,
249
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,228
who has drifted
ever since he arrived in the islands
250
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:22,756
and done nothing except
live off the largesse of Robin Masters
251
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,497
and who plays at being
a second-rate private eye.
252
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:26,765
Private investigator.
253
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:30,172
Basically, a guy who likes a fast buck
and a quick thrill.
254
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:34,373
But you always did prefer your men
like your cologne, cheap and splashy.
255
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:37,177
- Andrew!
- Pig!
256
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:41,550
- ldiot.
- Now, shut up, the both of you. Sit down.
257
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:45,952
Sorry, Tom, they're like oil and water,
always were, always will be.
258
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:50,553
Uncle Harry, you cannot allow
this beach bum to become a vice president.
259
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,587
- Beach bum?
- Andrew!
260
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:57,068
- Timothy's a member of the family.
- He's not a member of my family.
261
00:18:57,102 --> 00:19:02,233
l wouldn't let him be a janitor at MacKenzie,
much less a vice president.
262
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,755
- (Woman) Mr. Magnum?
- Huh?
263
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:25,491
You're already here.
l'm Miss Lodato, your secretary.
264
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,192
Hi.
265
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:28,893
You took me by surprise.
266
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:33,460
Oh, l'm sorry. This is all kind of new to me.
267
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,633
That's what l'm here for,
to show you the ropes.
268
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:44,443
And anything you want or need,
you just give me a little buzz.
269
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,742
- Well, thanks, Miss...?
- Lodato.
270
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:52,247
- But l prefer to be called Mary Jane.
- Thank you.
271
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:56,021
Thank you.
272
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:58,586
Thank you, Miss Lodato.
273
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:09,537
l see you've met Mary Jane.
She's cute, isn't she?
274
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,703
Look but don't touch. Company policy.
275
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,042
Besides, you are married, remember that?
276
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,071
lt's always on my mind.
277
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:21,083
As soon as you're settled in,
start checking around.
278
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,986
The sooner we can finish
with this charade, the better.
279
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:27,321
- You got it, boss.
- No.8 is where the inventory is stored.
280
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,520
Check the security system there first.
281
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,552
- Right.
- And be careful.
282
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,623
After this morning,
Andrew is bound to be suspicious.
283
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:37,499
Oh, you do care.
284
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,363
(Magnum) When I write my book on
how to be an ace private investigator,
285
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,241
one of the first chapters
will be on family squabbles.
286
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:50,806
There's a thousand variations but
the MacKenzies were a classic combination
287
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:55,377
of money, power and sibling rivalry.
A pretty potent mix.
288
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:59,516
The nice thing about cases like these,
though, was how easily they unraveled
289
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,719
once you find the right thread to pull.
290
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:06,163
Nine times out of ten, everything boiled down
to ruffled feathers and hot air.
291
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,995
That's why Uncle Harry's hot air
292
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:11,161
and Andrew's ruffled feathers
didn't concern me too much.
293
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:15,299
With a little luck, I figured I'd have
everyone kissing, making up
294
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:18,104
and maybe even living happily ever after.
295
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,408
(Creaking)
296
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,162
(Creaking)
297
00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:09,223
There, there, Mr. Magnum.
298
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:13,020
Now, don't move.
299
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,533
That's right.
300
00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,558
Just relax.
301
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:25,471
No... You mustn't do that.
302
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:31,806
Such a big bump.
303
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,812
The pillow should be under his feet.
304
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,413
His head needs more blood than his big toe.
305
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,282
Excuse me.
306
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:48,694
Congratulations. ln just three hours,
you have ruined everything.
307
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:51,862
- Ruined everything?
- lf you weren't so obvious about it...
308
00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:55,771
- Obvious? Wait a minute...
- You've blown our cover because of it.
309
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:59,675
Fine. lf that's the case,
then we can stop playing house,
310
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,872
l can go back to being a private detective,
311
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:06,179
which is exactly what l should
have been in the first place. Uhh.
312
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:11,013
Let me see. Let me see.
313
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:19,663
lf you're going to keep shouting,
this is gonna get worse, so lie down.
314
00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:21,962
Lie down.
315
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,991
(Groans)
316
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,963
l didn't realize.
317
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,134
ls that better?
318
00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:40,544
Well, at least this bump tells us
we're on the right track, doesn't it?
319
00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:47,849
And you're wrong.
Our cover isn't exactly blown.
320
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:50,992
l'm wrong? l didn't say that. You said that.
321
00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:54,157
l think it's even more important now
that we protect it,
322
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:58,033
so that you can continue
with this investigation.
323
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,970
What's wrong?
324
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,136
Nothing. l was wondering
what you were planning on doing.
325
00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:08,942
- Besides just lying here.
- l'm not just lying here.
326
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,881
A good private investigator's
always doing something.
327
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,283
- Such as?
- (Phone beeps)
328
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:19,820
Yes?
329
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:21,985
- lt's Rick.
- Ah.
330
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:25,758
See? Always doing something.
331
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,788
Yeah, Rick.
332
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,892
Great. What have you got?
333
00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:34,664
Good. Listen, can you and T.C.
come over tonight about seven?
334
00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:38,198
Yeah, bring some beer
and some chips. OK.
335
00:24:40,712 --> 00:24:44,808
- They're coming to our house tonight?
- Rick's got something for us.
336
00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:48,081
Well, l think you could have asked me first.
337
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,644
You know,
Uncle Harry ought to be there too...
338
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:53,317
Checked with you first? What about?
339
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:59,590
- What's wrong now?
- Nothing. Nothing.
340
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,759
l just hope we have enough for five.
341
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,165
Enough what?
342
00:25:08,206 --> 00:25:10,197
(Flies buzzing)
343
00:25:10,942 --> 00:25:12,933
Here you are.
344
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:18,215
Now, this isn't exactly French
but there is some white wine in it...
345
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:21,041
somewhere.
346
00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:27,155
Now, don't be polite. Go ahead and eat.
347
00:25:48,313 --> 00:25:55,310
Um, l hate to mix business with pleasure but
Tom tells me you came up with something.
348
00:25:55,353 --> 00:25:59,915
Yeah, there's this guy lce Pick, tells me
that someone's been looking for a buyer
349
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,119
with big bucks to handle a computer deal.
350
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,355
That's got to be our stuff. l'll bet my life.
351
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:07,729
That's a good bet. l kept digging.
l came up with a name.
352
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:09,789
Mm.
353
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,462
- Andy MacKenzie.
- l knew it.
354
00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:14,665
- Any buyers?
- Not yet.
355
00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:18,665
Then we'll provide one. Do you think
lce Pick can set up a buy with Andy
356
00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,701
and a rich criminal from the mainland?
357
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:23,009
Yeah, he could set it up for a price.
358
00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:26,540
That's it. There's our sting.
We'll set up the fake buy.
359
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:29,349
Get Andy to tip his hand
and we catch him in the act.
360
00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:31,184
- Could work.
- lt's got to work.
361
00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:34,214
That's the only way
l'm gonna get that sneaky twerp.
362
00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:40,164
Of course, we need one or two persons
who could pose as the buyers.
363
00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:44,157
Wait a minute, before you even consider
a bad idea, you can count us out.
364
00:26:44,202 --> 00:26:48,366
Hey, come on! l never even mentioned
you guys. Of course it's not a bad idea.
365
00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:50,533
lt's worse than bad. lt's terrible.
366
00:26:51,076 --> 00:26:55,570
Nothing personal but we've been down
the road too many times before with Thomas.
367
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:59,573
So l thank you for the dinner
but we've got to go.
368
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,746
Suppose l told you l'd pay you
1 ,000 big ones for the job?
369
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,287
1 ,000 apiece that is.
370
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:13,654
500 in front and 500 when the job's finished.
371
00:27:20,038 --> 00:27:22,336
Now, if that's all settled...
372
00:27:23,608 --> 00:27:26,236
how about some more casserole?
373
00:27:26,277 --> 00:27:28,040
(Flies buzzing)
374
00:27:28,079 --> 00:27:30,912
(* Stirring music on TV)
375
00:27:40,058 --> 00:27:41,719
Hi.
376
00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:46,493
lt's the original Gunga Din,
just started. Grab a seat.
377
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,091
(Volume decreases)
378
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:54,428
l can barely hear it.
379
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:56,030
(Volume increases)
380
00:27:56,074 --> 00:27:59,271
That way l won't hear it at all,
which is the idea.
381
00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:03,178
- Bad idea.
- l want to go to sleep.
382
00:28:03,214 --> 00:28:05,682
So go to sleep.
383
00:28:05,717 --> 00:28:07,708
l plan to.
384
00:28:07,752 --> 00:28:10,084
- Wait a minute. Give me that.
- No.
385
00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:12,112
l need to sleep.
386
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,992
(Bugle calls and gunshots on TV)
387
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:23,364
What are you doing? What are you doing?
388
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:26,293
You kissed me.
389
00:28:26,337 --> 00:28:31,502
l...kissed you? Oh! That's typically male.
Why would l want to kiss you?
390
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,369
l don't know
but it's nothing to get upset about.
391
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:37,313
l'm...not upset.
392
00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:43,844
Me either. As a matter of fact,
l kind of enjoyed it.
393
00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,719
Typically male, l guess.
394
00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:47,748
(Turns volume up)
395
00:29:12,383 --> 00:29:16,479
lt's all set for dawn. Rick and T.C.
are gonna drive up in the truck.
396
00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:21,015
Andrew apparently has
someone on the gate to let them in.
397
00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:28,197
(Laughs) You couldn't hit the broad side
of a barn. That's 300 you owe me.
398
00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:30,701
Now you putt first this time.
399
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:32,726
l'll be in the back of the truck.
400
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:35,205
l'll squash Andy like a bug on a windshield.
401
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,765
What am l supposed to be doing, my nails?
402
00:29:37,809 --> 00:29:41,472
You stay out of this. After what Andy's done,
we can't be too careful.
403
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:45,506
l don't care. l'm vice president
of this company. l'm going with you.
404
00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:47,108
No, you're not.
405
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:49,943
lt could be dangerous.
406
00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:53,918
(Harry laughs)
407
00:29:55,493 --> 00:29:58,792
And you're both immune
because you're men, right?
408
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:01,128
You stop speeding bullets
with your bare hands
409
00:30:01,166 --> 00:30:04,533
and leap tall buildings
with a single bound, that sort of thing?
410
00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:07,436
You're beginning
to sound like your grandmother.
411
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:09,565
That's fine with me.
412
00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:17,647
Being married to her would give
a whole new meaning to the word divorce.
413
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:27,053
(Laughs) That's 400 you owe me.
l got to go lie to a banker.
414
00:30:27,091 --> 00:30:30,356
l'll talk to accounting
about deducting 400 from your salary.
415
00:30:30,395 --> 00:30:32,226
Well...
416
00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:50,810
- Someone once said you are what you eat.
- (Microwave pings)
417
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:54,512
Now, that's true but I also figure
you are where you live too.
418
00:30:54,552 --> 00:30:57,316
There's a lot to the old adage,
''Home, sweet home. ''
419
00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,347
It's comfortable, familiar, secure,
420
00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:03,656
sort of like a good pair of shoes
that really fit.
421
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:07,529
That's why a couple days in the love nest
started driving me up the walls.
422
00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:12,628
It just wasn't me. So I figured I'd sneak off
and have a couple of hours to myself,
423
00:31:12,670 --> 00:31:15,503
a little domestic RandR, totally alone.
424
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:19,340
- (Man) Touchdown, Southern Call
- Except for the SC-Notre Dame game.
425
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:21,368
(Knocking)
426
00:31:22,146 --> 00:31:26,981
Higgins, look, l didn't mean to bother you.
Look, l can explain everything.
427
00:31:27,018 --> 00:31:30,920
lt's not Mr. Higgins but don't let that
keep you from explaining.
428
00:31:30,955 --> 00:31:33,480
What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
429
00:31:33,524 --> 00:31:37,927
Well, since you took our car, l took a cab.
430
00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:44,596
And after calling Rick and T.C.
and every disreputable gin mill in Honolulu,
431
00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,797
that left...this.
432
00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:50,501
Then l simply told Mr. Higgins
l was looking for my husband.
433
00:31:50,541 --> 00:31:54,409
You woke him up?
Wait a minute. l am not your husband.
434
00:31:54,445 --> 00:31:57,573
He was absolutely livid
that you had broken in here
435
00:31:57,615 --> 00:32:00,846
but we both decided
l should take care of the matter.
436
00:32:00,885 --> 00:32:03,820
- How could you do this?
- Do what?
437
00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:07,120
How could you be so incredibly insensitive?
438
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:10,821
l mean, l wake up in the middle
of the night and you're gone.
439
00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:14,958
There's no note,
no phone call, just an empty house.
440
00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:19,026
l couldn't sleep and there was
a replay of the football game on cable, so...
441
00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:22,005
So? So...you just walked out?
442
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,508
You make it sound like l abandoned you.
443
00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:27,978
- Well, what do you call it?
- l don't call it anything.
444
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:34,043
No, of course not. And you can just
come and go whenever you please.
445
00:32:34,085 --> 00:32:39,751
Marsha, look, you can come and go
whenever you please too.
446
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,783
Day or night, around the clock, l don't care.
447
00:32:45,063 --> 00:32:48,829
Well, l mean l do care,
sort of, in the right way.
448
00:32:49,767 --> 00:32:51,928
l mean, we're in this together.
449
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,801
Yes and it's not over yet.
450
00:32:53,838 --> 00:32:58,901
ln case you've forgotten,
you work for me, us, 24 hours a day.
451
00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:02,435
And since we are meeting
Rick and T.C. in just a few hours,
452
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,970
l suggest we get some rest.
453
00:33:04,015 --> 00:33:06,540
You're not actually gonna eat that?
454
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,953
Well, yeah, actually, l was.
455
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:15,654
Rancid, decaying animal flesh with
harmful chemicals and additives, that's terrible.
456
00:33:15,693 --> 00:33:17,684
Awful.
457
00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:23,759
l'll fix you something good
when we get home.
458
00:33:25,136 --> 00:33:27,730
Eggs Romanoff, that's what l'll make.
459
00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:31,435
That's got caviar
and capers and green onions.
460
00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:35,139
Or maybe that's red onions.
l don't know, whatever.
461
00:33:35,179 --> 00:33:39,582
l've never made it before
but the recipe sounds really good...
462
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:46,388
(Rick) This is the last time
you pick a disguise for me.
463
00:33:46,424 --> 00:33:50,793
But it is perfect, Orville. l am representing
oil money from the Sheik of Yahoo
464
00:33:50,828 --> 00:33:52,318
and you're his son.
465
00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:55,264
lf l'm the son of a sheik,
how come l'm driving a truck?
466
00:33:55,299 --> 00:33:58,291
lf anybody asks, blame OPEC.
467
00:33:58,336 --> 00:34:00,327
(Laughs)
468
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:03,473
Tom, it's Rick. How's it going back there?
469
00:34:04,242 --> 00:34:07,268
l'm bouncing off the walls, Rick.
Can you take it easy?
470
00:34:07,311 --> 00:34:09,302
(Laughs)
471
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,482
How's Marsha?
472
00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:17,581
Having the time of her life.
473
00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:22,818
All right, we'll be there in five minutes.
474
00:34:24,662 --> 00:34:27,187
Look, why don't you sit down?
475
00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:29,222
You're not going to get dirty.
476
00:34:30,301 --> 00:34:32,292
No, l'll stand up.
477
00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:45,272
Agh! Oh!
478
00:34:46,951 --> 00:34:49,112
l think we're here.
479
00:34:50,555 --> 00:34:53,023
Thomas, we're here. We don't see nothing.
480
00:34:53,891 --> 00:34:57,884
He's probably inside, Rick.
You go ahead, we'll follow.
481
00:34:57,929 --> 00:35:03,026
- You all right?
- Yes, l'm all right. l'm all right.
482
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,744
- Rick! Rick!
- What?
483
00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:17,612
Better come down here. Something's wrong.
484
00:35:25,656 --> 00:35:28,181
- lt's empty.
- lt sure as hell is.
485
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:36,926
We've been hoping you guys
would show up for the rest.
486
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,459
- The rest?
- Wait. There's some mistake.
487
00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:43,873
Sure as hell been a mistake,
buddy boy, and it's yours...and his.
488
00:35:46,677 --> 00:35:49,805
l knew it. l knew something like this
was gonna happen.
489
00:35:49,847 --> 00:35:53,180
- What are you doing here?
- l was about to ask you the same thing.
490
00:35:53,217 --> 00:35:55,947
Uncle Harry, what is going on?
491
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:59,479
lt looks like you and your new hubby
are up the proverbial creek,
492
00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:01,549
without a paddle.
493
00:36:01,592 --> 00:36:03,583
Take 'em away, boys.
494
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:12,035
- (Rick) You really did it this time, Thomas.
- l told you, if you'd just let me explain.
495
00:36:12,069 --> 00:36:14,060
- Don't explain.
- Forget it, Thomas.
496
00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:16,266
lt looks worse than it is.
497
00:36:16,307 --> 00:36:18,138
How could it look any worse?
498
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:21,441
We're in jail looking at two to ten
for grand theft.
499
00:36:21,479 --> 00:36:23,709
l told you getting married was a big mistake.
500
00:36:23,748 --> 00:36:26,046
Ah! But that's the point, see?
501
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:29,917
At least one of them, see?
l didn't actually get married.
502
00:36:29,954 --> 00:36:31,751
Well, l did but not really.
503
00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:35,122
Getting married is like getting pregnant,
you do or you don't.
504
00:36:35,159 --> 00:36:38,651
lt's real simple, Rick,
if you'll just let me explain.
505
00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:42,962
Marsha discovered somebody stealing
from the company but she didn't know who.
506
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,764
Now, Uncle Harry knew,
because he's the bad guy
507
00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:48,465
but he pointed the finger at Andrew
508
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,974
and then he hired me
to come in and catch him
509
00:36:51,008 --> 00:36:56,207
but he set up this whole sting thing
to make it look like l ripped off the company.
510
00:36:56,247 --> 00:37:00,513
lt's pretty clever, huh? And it almost
worked too, except that l figured it out
511
00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:04,487
and that's when Andrew, Marsha
and l came up with this idea
512
00:37:04,522 --> 00:37:07,047
about a sting on a sting,
513
00:37:07,091 --> 00:37:10,754
which meant we had to let
Harry's sting seem to work,
514
00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:13,389
so that we could sting him.
515
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,193
And it worked.
516
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:19,203
What worked?
517
00:37:19,704 --> 00:37:23,800
ln case you haven't noticed, genius,
we're the ones that are in jail.
518
00:37:23,841 --> 00:37:27,333
The only thing we have done wrong
is be dumb enough to listen to you.
519
00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:30,313
Relax, guys, we're gonna
get out of here real soon.
520
00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:35,047
Yeah...well, real soon
better come real quick.
521
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:41,184
Don't tell me. lt's the city jail thespians
doing a scene from Riot ln Cell Block 1 1 .
522
00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:44,558
The final resting place
after a sordid life of crime.
523
00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:48,622
- Higgins, there's been a mistake.
- His. You got to get us out of here.
524
00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:51,965
That's easier said than done.
Bail has been denied.
525
00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:54,904
- Denied?
- Relax, guys.
526
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:58,739
He's not in on the plan.
Andrew explained everything to the DA.
527
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:00,744
We're gonna be here forever.
528
00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:05,875
They're probably letting Marsha out right now.
Trust me. lt's all part of the plan.
529
00:38:05,916 --> 00:38:09,044
- We had to give Uncle Harry some time.
- To do what?
530
00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:11,680
To get away. Or think
that he was getting away.
531
00:38:11,722 --> 00:38:14,247
How extraordinarily bizarre, Magnum.
532
00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:17,420
You cannot walk into
the middle of something like this
533
00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:20,055
and expect to understand it.
lf you let me explain.
534
00:38:20,097 --> 00:38:21,530
Shut up!
535
00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:24,557
Thomas, we got here
as quickly as we could.
536
00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:27,196
No problem, we're right on schedule.
How'd it go?
537
00:38:27,238 --> 00:38:31,641
He didn't suspect a thing. They had
the truck out an hour before you got there.
538
00:38:31,676 --> 00:38:33,610
We followed him to pier 40.
539
00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:36,408
- Thomas, what is going on?
- l'll explain on the way.
540
00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:40,850
- Explain on the way? Forget it.
- We ain't going nowhere with you.
541
00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:43,677
OK, if that's the way you feel.
542
00:38:45,623 --> 00:38:49,115
(Laughs) You see that?
He didn't know what to do.
543
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,685
Of course, because he knew
he couldn't do a thing.
544
00:38:51,729 --> 00:38:53,663
Hey! Ha!
545
00:38:53,698 --> 00:38:56,826
Look here, man, l'm starving.
Let's go get some lunch.
546
00:38:56,867 --> 00:38:58,698
Good idea.
547
00:39:02,306 --> 00:39:05,241
lt's locked. lt's locked!
548
00:39:05,276 --> 00:39:07,369
- Guard!
- Hey! Yoo-hoo!
549
00:39:07,411 --> 00:39:08,571
Hey, guard, help!
550
00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:12,708
(T.C.) Hey, somebody come back here!
Why did you pull it shut like this?
551
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,581
lt's locked like this.
552
00:39:14,618 --> 00:39:17,553
(T.C. and Rick continue arguing)
553
00:39:17,588 --> 00:39:20,614
- Hey, Higgie, this door is locked.
- There's some mistake.
554
00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:25,459
- Yeah, so go get the jailer or something.
- l could be persuaded to do so.
555
00:39:25,496 --> 00:39:27,794
What do you mean ''persuaded''?
556
00:39:27,832 --> 00:39:31,290
- Higgins, you wouldn't.
- Oh, you couldn't.
557
00:39:31,335 --> 00:39:36,136
Use of your aerial services Saturday
and Sunday for a month including petrol.
558
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,266
A month! Man, that is robbery.
559
00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:41,642
- 40 hours of bookkeeping services.
- You've got to be kidding.
560
00:39:41,679 --> 00:39:45,171
And the rainbow room belongs
to the Ornithological Society
561
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:49,243
the last Thursday of every month
for the next year regardless of who wants it.
562
00:39:49,286 --> 00:39:51,117
Fat chance.
563
00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:57,191
That's the last straw.
He can do it to Magnum but not us.
564
00:39:59,964 --> 00:40:01,955
OK!
565
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,262
Done.
566
00:40:13,511 --> 00:40:16,344
- l'll check inside.
- And l'm supposed to wait here?
567
00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:19,713
Marsha, l am the professional.
l do this for a living.
568
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,275
Big deal. l'll go and you wait here.
569
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,216
We'll all go.
570
00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:29,659
What is so complicated
about putting your head inside a trailer?
571
00:40:36,534 --> 00:40:40,300
Now... l know how this may look
but there's an explanation.
572
00:40:40,337 --> 00:40:42,362
There's been a serious mistake.
573
00:40:42,406 --> 00:40:43,839
There sure has been.
574
00:40:43,874 --> 00:40:47,002
At first we thought it was Andy...
Nothing personal, kid.
575
00:40:47,044 --> 00:40:50,878
When Andy didn't show up, the cops thought
Tom and Marsha were involved.
576
00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:54,248
l talked to those idiots
but they wouldn't listen.
577
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:57,777
Shut up, Harry. We all know
precisely what happened.
578
00:40:57,822 --> 00:41:00,882
- You do?
- lt was pretty nifty, Uncle Harry.
579
00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:05,021
Your only mistake was forgetting
your nephew's name is Andrew.
580
00:41:05,062 --> 00:41:07,292
And that's Andrew, Uncle Harry, not Andy.
581
00:41:07,331 --> 00:41:09,060
You prefer Andrew?
582
00:41:10,034 --> 00:41:13,526
Hey, you've got it. Andrew MacKenzie,
got a great ring. l love it.
583
00:41:13,571 --> 00:41:16,472
Since you're the only family member
that calls him Andy,
584
00:41:16,507 --> 00:41:19,806
when lce Pick said
Andy MacKenzie was looking for buyers,
585
00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:22,870
l knew you planted his name
and set up this cute sting.
586
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:26,007
Why, that's ridiculous.
This is a family business.
587
00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:28,211
l'm the president. l can do anything l want.
588
00:41:28,252 --> 00:41:31,085
You're president
because l've allowed you to be.
589
00:41:31,121 --> 00:41:33,851
My 51 %/% of MacKenzie runs this business.
590
00:41:33,891 --> 00:41:36,189
And from this moment on, you're fired.
591
00:41:36,227 --> 00:41:39,355
The whole board's got
to sit down and discuss this.
592
00:41:39,396 --> 00:41:44,265
Well, since the whole board is right here,
we'll have a meeting right now.
593
00:41:44,301 --> 00:41:49,705
All those in favor of booting this little worm
out on his worthless tail, say aye.
594
00:41:49,740 --> 00:41:51,071
Aye.
595
00:41:51,108 --> 00:41:53,042
Opposed?
596
00:41:53,077 --> 00:41:56,740
Unanimous.
Now, that takes care of family business.
597
00:41:56,780 --> 00:42:00,511
There's just one little thing,
the criminal charges.
598
00:42:00,551 --> 00:42:02,178
Such as fraud.
599
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:04,050
- And theft.
- Attempted murder.
600
00:42:04,088 --> 00:42:08,218
What are you talking about?
Those boxes missed you. That was a warning.
601
00:42:08,259 --> 00:42:10,887
Tell it to the police. They're on their way.
602
00:42:12,263 --> 00:42:17,496
Harry! Uncle Harry, stop!
Are you just going to stand there?
603
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,902
- You said the police are on their way.
- What if they miss him?
604
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,801
Grandmother, Andrew, in the car.
605
00:42:24,842 --> 00:42:29,245
Wait a minute. No. Wait. Stop.
You don't have to stop him.
606
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,408
Let the police do that.
That's what they're paid for.
607
00:42:32,449 --> 00:42:35,350
Marsha, you've been watching
too many detective shows.
608
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:38,514
- Are you coming?
- No, l'm not coming.
609
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:41,252
OK, wait. l'm coming.
610
00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:44,056
l don't know why l'm coming but l'm coming.
611
00:43:02,146 --> 00:43:06,776
(Laughs) l haven't had
such a good ride in a long time.
612
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:10,012
(Magnum) The forklift.
Look out for the forklift!
613
00:43:28,839 --> 00:43:30,272
Will you slow down?
614
00:43:36,213 --> 00:43:37,373
Ohh!
615
00:43:46,156 --> 00:43:49,785
(Andrew) Marsha, you're gonna kill us all.
You drive like you cook!
616
00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:51,021
Stop it, Andrew.
617
00:43:52,129 --> 00:43:55,621
The guy with the lights
and the siren, that's a cop.
618
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:05,170
That's the police. The police.
Do you want me to spell it?
619
00:44:28,699 --> 00:44:32,795
Hi, guys. l think l can explain everything.
620
00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:38,398
(Playing faltering notes)
621
00:44:45,783 --> 00:44:47,774
Tho...
622
00:45:06,670 --> 00:45:08,331
Thomas!
623
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:10,970
Hi.
624
00:45:11,775 --> 00:45:13,367
You scared me.
625
00:45:13,410 --> 00:45:16,709
- What happened to you?
- Whiplash.
626
00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:20,575
Oh, no, l'm sorry.
627
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,881
l'm sorry. No, it's fine.
628
00:45:24,922 --> 00:45:27,686
Honest. l'm just kidding. lt's all better, see?
629
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:30,626
- Just gives me leverage with Higgins.
- Are you sure?
630
00:45:30,661 --> 00:45:35,155
Yeah, it's all better.
l was just giving you a hard time.
631
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:38,458
Well, l stopped by
632
00:45:38,502 --> 00:45:42,233
because l never got a chance
to thank you for everything you did.
633
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,902
That's OK. lt's just part of the job.
634
00:45:47,211 --> 00:45:49,509
Also you left some things at the cottage.
635
00:45:49,546 --> 00:45:51,207
Oh, my shaving kit.
636
00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:53,546
You can't be without that, can you?
637
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:57,281
And...these are yours, aren't they?
638
00:45:59,456 --> 00:46:01,447
Wouldn't get married without 'em.
639
00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:08,558
Well, l guess l made a pretty rotten wife, huh?
640
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:13,662
Well, l didn't make such a hot husband.
641
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:20,473
l guess this relationship stuff
takes a lot of practice.
642
00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:25,881
lt's like golf for me. No matter how much
l practice, l never seem to break 100.
643
00:46:26,483 --> 00:46:29,077
- You know what l mean?
- Yeah, l sure do.
644
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:33,112
- Well...
- Hey.
645
00:46:35,893 --> 00:46:40,592
We didn't do so bad after all,
you know, all things considered.
646
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:43,657
Right. All things considered.
647
00:46:44,535 --> 00:46:46,526
Magnum, your lunch is here.
648
00:46:46,570 --> 00:46:48,868
l say, l didn't realize you had company.
649
00:46:48,906 --> 00:46:53,969
Lunch? Gee, Higgins. How thoughtful.
You shouldn't have.
650
00:46:54,011 --> 00:46:56,479
Precisely what l told Dr lbold
651
00:46:56,513 --> 00:47:00,279
but he insists you be pampered
like an invalid for the next few days.
652
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:02,308
Well, thank you very much, Higgins.
653
00:47:02,352 --> 00:47:05,219
Pampering, l refuse to do
but l am willing to help expand
654
00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:08,747
the shockingly narrow boundaries
of your intellectual horizons.
655
00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:10,783
That's very thoughtful but l...
656
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:13,820
Actually, both of you might
find this of some interest.
657
00:47:13,864 --> 00:47:17,027
lt's from my memoirs.
lt involves a fascinating experience
658
00:47:17,067 --> 00:47:19,160
that once happened to me in Alexandria,
659
00:47:19,203 --> 00:47:22,070
when l was forced
to feign matrimony with not one
660
00:47:22,105 --> 00:47:25,040
but three daughters of a Bedouin prince.
661
00:47:25,075 --> 00:47:27,805
As a young lance corporal
who'd experienced
662
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:30,837
but one major affaire de coeur
in his 22 years,
663
00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:33,042
the prospect of an impending wedding eve
664
00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:36,416
with three hot-blooded Bedouin
was indeed an awesome one.
665
00:47:36,453 --> 00:47:40,184
Fortunately, as the youngest daughter doused
the dying campfire
666
00:47:40,224 --> 00:47:42,692
and plunged our tent into pitch blackness,
667
00:47:42,726 --> 00:47:48,096
l recalled a relevant chapter from Rommel's
classic treatise on tank warfare...
668
00:47:54,638 --> 00:47:56,629
Perhaps one had to be there.
669
00:47:56,679 --> 00:48:01,229
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